So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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