when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
