so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
