she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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