Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Randomize
