He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
