your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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