I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
