I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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