I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
