hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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