I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
