Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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