maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
