She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
We are two peas in an std pod
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
