hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
false alarm, still single
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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