i permit you to call me
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
