I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
