Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
