I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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