I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
