are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
