he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
