I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
