I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
