God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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