I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
