He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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