i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
