I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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