i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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