i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
