He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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