Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
