We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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