It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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