She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
