If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
