when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
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She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
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I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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