Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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