I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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