4 words: hood of his car
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
