What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i will never coherently bang her
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
