remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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