you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
