So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
