Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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