she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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