Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
