Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
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