so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
