I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
