Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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