What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
