I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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