sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
They have beer where we have blood.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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