Christians are straight up FREAKS
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
