I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
