So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
