I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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