Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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