my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
