you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
