So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
