I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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