Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Randomize
